An adventurous odyssey

An adventurous ride and the second most emotional & an 
An unforgettable experience of my life…

Like lakhs of aspirants, I was also fighting tooth and nail for getting into PSU. The reason for my eagerness, I can’t disclose. And the circumstances with me were antagonistic:

    1)  I was working in a private company and the job demanded the work of toil for the limited number of employees because it was a newly established firm.

    2)  Due to drastic emotional setbacks in my life, I was going through a lot of depression.

    3) My poor health condition. I could not have proper diet.

Given that I couldn’t take time from my hectic routine, I even couldn’t join coaching classes, and whenever I could get atmost 2 hours to study everyday, I would imagine the fervent crowd of lakhs of people attending FULL DAY coaching classes and learning selective appropriate things. They could ask their doubts to someone, but I couldn’t. They had someone to anchor them on their path, but I was unguided. They would study in groups, discuss with each other, but I had lost contact with all my fellow college people. Not even a single person… I was absolutely alone..

I was alone and I was taking risks…

1)   I would reach my office premises at 8:15 in the morning, but would not enter before 9. The intervening time, I used to spend in the common washroom outside my office. There I would read my own hand-written notes, sample papers, as if the next moment, I am going to have an interview or some speech competition. Those days, even the lady washroom cleaner became my friend! She would offer me biscuit or samosa, and I would offer her oranges.  The girls coming and going would sneak a peek at me, as if I am doing some condemnable work.

2)   During winters, on the way back home, when the darkness of the evening would take over and my cabmates would take a nap, I would study in the running dim light flashed from the street lamps.

3)   At office when many people would go to attend a meeting or a presentation, I would search for study material on my computer steeped in fear of getting caught and fired at the same time.

4)  When a competitive exam would approach (which used to be mainly on Sundays), I would take a half day leave on friday and rush to a nearby mall, which was under construction. I would spend 2-3 hours there devouring all the topics, when people used to pass away glancing at me. And I, ignoring their uncomfortable stare and my tiredness, would try to keep my FOCUS.

5)    I would keep 3-4 pages folded in my pocket, and whenever I would go to the loo during office hours, I would finish up atleast one page everytime. Once, I remember, such paper fell into the pot!

I could flush it off, but then I would lose my important notes. I had no choice but to pick the drenched paper from a small corner and lay near the basin. I went out and came back with a fresh paper and a pen. Carefully and quickly, I copied down its contents and dropped it in the dustbin. It was my fortune that no one else came to the washroom at the same time. No one could get any idea of it.

6)  No one would ever have any idea if one day, I would not barge into the room of the head of the company because I was feeling suffocated and constrained by the hectic work schedule. Shockingly and liitle stunned, he asked me the matter. Without giving a pause, I blurted out, “I need one month leave”.

“Why”

I am preparing for PSUs and I can’t take a chance anymore”

Though unmoved, he asks me to wait for his reply. Though I knew what the reply could be. And that’s what I wanted because I was not audacious enough to resign when I have no job offer in my hand. But the result was disappointing, he didn’t fire me. Instead my annoyed manager gave me a warning about disclosing such things.

 I didn’t leave job for two reasons:

 - I was afraid of depression because I was not habitual of staying alone at home, jobless!
 - I didn’t want to give up. Instead I wanted to learn time management and taking risks.

7)   I had replaced the bed in my room with a carpet so that I don’t get to sleep early.

As the time passed, and I was not able to fare well in exams, like GATE, IES, and PSUs direct exams, my faith in my own abilities started flickering. Even whenever my relatives, my cousins would visit home, and see me studying in my room, which had ‘no bed’, they would throw gratuitous advices, ‘why don’t you leave your current job’, ‘you can’t sail in two boats’. My brother would taunt mee verytime he would see me devouring books, ‘would you keep studying for your entire life”.

People tell you the things which they can’t do themselves. I was my own teacher and my own student. I would absorb every failure quietly instead of telling the world that I failed or I am weak.

Life would be a failure if one day I didn’t get a call from mummy while at office, “I have got your appointment letter from RITES Ltd. which says you are selected as Asst. Manager, and you have to join soon.”

I asked her to read out the letter, because still I couldn’t believe my ears. She was talking about the same PSU Company which I used to see everyday on my way to office and dream to be there. It was in NCR, and I didn’t need to switch to a different location as well. I was one of the 4 people who got through!!!

I cried out of happiness, that day. That was the greatest gift I gave to my parents. They were proud of me, and all my hard work, sleepless nights and the depressing office hours got paid off.

Abhi mujh mein kahin
Baaqi thodi si hai zindagi
Jagi dhadkan nayi
Jaana zinda hoon main toh abhi
Kuch aisi lagan iss lamhe mein hai
Ye lamha kahaan tha mera
Ab hai saamne
Issey chhoo loon zaraa
Mar jaaoon ya jee loon zaraa
Khushiyaan choom loon
Yaa ro loo'n zaraa
Mar jaaun ya jee loon zaraa

              

         “Dreams are not achieved in a blink of eye, there’s always a big story of hard work behind”

Message for all my dear aspirants : Don't quit until you get it.Victory is guaranteed!